I believe I'm experience a crisis of confidence. While this will be an odd way to start my first newsletter, I believe it is what has taken me so long to get it written. On the one hand, I'm continuing to create, albeit mostly verse and digital art. I also recently ventured into making copper wire Bonsai trees. I guess two counts as trees. I'll post a picture of the second one. I still want to tweak it, but it's been an interesting experience. I actually went away from this for a few minutes, to look for the image. Still, I know it's another form of stalling. I'm not completely sure what's going on. I know some of this has to do with not painting much in the last several months.
Since this was the key that unlocked the digital art and brought me back to writing, it's essential to who I am. I also have not been in many if any adjudicated shows regularly in several years. I did well when I started painting. I got chosen for shows repeatedly, including honorable mentions, awards of merit, and first and third place in online shows. So, as I've read, the only way forward is through. This is my official foray on this site. I'm adding one of my favorite pieces, Memento Mori, which should also give you insight into my sensibility. I hope you like my work. I'd love to know what you think. Please comment if you are an email subscriber. If not, I hope you will join me on my journey.
This is what I would have posted yesterday. Just this. Today, I started my morning listening to a show about hope. How despite everything, we must have hope. One message was that the best futures don't arrive fully formed. We must work to make them happen. Something that wasn't said, was that this work must not be a slog or a chore. It will be work but will rob you of energy or give you energy. I have found that those which give me energy are the ones I feel are right for me. That's what creating is for me, though I have let the stresses of the pandemic and politics and anger, division and madness have clouded my mind. Worse, I have let them inside of me. I read a quote today. I don't remember whose. Though it smacked of being trite, it also spoke to me. It said, a boat doesn't sink from the water all around it, it sinks from water which gets inside it. That's what I had let happen to me.
Every day gives us an opportunity to make different choices. That's what I plan to do. Really, not different, but back to my true self. I'm normally upbeat and dream big. I don't know where such dreams may take me, but I wouldn't be here if I had given up the many times I could. The other thing I realized listening to the show about hope is that this an integral part of who I am and of my art. I sometimes paint odd subjects such as a dead vole. It is not meant to be depressing, it's to make us think. Life and death are beautiful when we realize our span here is finite and we must choose to live while we are alive. I like bright colors, flowers, gardens, birds, water and reflections, but I also paint portraits of green people and of feet. I paint them because they speak to me. I have never painted anything because I thought it would sell. I hope my art and writing sell. I'd love to know your thoughts and I hope you will join me for my journeys ahead.
